I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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