Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i believe in u and ur pee
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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