I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
