my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
