dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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