i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
