you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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