No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
