Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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