he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
