wanna go halves on a baby?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
