she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
