Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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