I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
