I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Found your dick twin last night
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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