what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
