My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
