Screwed.edu
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
