I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
