I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
