I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
