3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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