weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
