I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
