do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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