with your own penis?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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