If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
third nipple confirmed
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
