So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
