Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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