I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
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