I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
