i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize