I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
