Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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