i just wanna soil my oats bro
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
