I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
