i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize