There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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