He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
