I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
