he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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