My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
