just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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