i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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