But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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