just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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