if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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