69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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