he thought i was a dude.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
