My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize