I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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