Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
