Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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