You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
only you would photoshop your dick
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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