My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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