1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
