I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
