i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
