Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
50% drunk capacity currently
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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