part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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